Five Lessons I Learned at 25
I just turned 25 and wrote down the five most important lessons I’ve learned so far. I don’t have life completely figured out - far from it. But damn, I’m trying, and I think you’ll take atleast one thing out of this. Maybe you’ve learned these lessons, or you wish someone had told you sooner. Either way, here they are.
1. I’ll be fine
I’ve had some dark moments mentally. It started with anxious thoughts that spiraled into something bigger than they needed to be. But over time, I noticed something: no matter how bad those thoughts felt, no matter how much it seemed like life wouldn’t be the same, in every single situation, things turned out to be ok.
When these thoughts come again, I remind myself: I’ve been here before and made it through. This time won’t be any different. This mindset has helped me tremendously.
I’ve had to fail mentally more than I can count to realize this. Although cliché, these habits helped me get here: journaling, talking it out with someone, or just going for a walk. You can even achieve this by sitting down and listening to your thoughts for 30 minutes. The more you listen, the less attached you’ll become to them.
2. Good habits make my life easier, not harder
Making the hard choice to sleep well, eat healthy, and exercise will make your life easier. With these habits, I have more energy to tackle my goals during free time, like working on this blog. Without these habits, I’ll have less energy and be stuck in a cycle of scrolling social media and watching YouTube.
When I make the easy choice of watching TV or eating junk food, life is harder. Problems like fatigue, stress, and poor focus compound with every unhealthy choice. But when I focus on the hard habits like sleep, diet, and exercise, I have more energy, a calmer mind, and better focus.
The best example of this is making the hard choice to work out first thing in the morning. Starting my day with an instant win builds momentum, making the rest of the day easier to tackle. Also, it puts me in a way better mood and boosts my confidence. If you have worked out first thing in the morning, you know what I mean.
3. The Male Sedation Hypothesis
Young men are struggling. The number of males aged 18–24 not in education or employment has increased by 40%. On top of that, 60% of young men report feeling lonely regularly, despite spending much of their time online. Other stats show young men are not ok.
This phenomenon aligns with what Chris Williamson from the Modern Wisdom podcast calls the "Male Sedation Hypothesis." The idea is that porn, social media, and video games are preventing men from stepping out and pursuing meaningful growth in their lives.
Porn sedates us just enough to avoid seeking real-life relationships with women. Social media consumes our time and energy, taking away opportunities for genuine, face-to-face interactions where social skills are built. Video games replace camaraderie with fake connections, diverting time from friendships, workplaces, or other social environments that foster authentic bonds.
I was “sedated” during middle school, high school, and college. Porn gave me an excuse not to engage with women in real life, leaving me intimtaded of them. Social media stole hours from my days, made me anxious, and constantly compared myself to others. And video games consumed so much of my time that they kept me from building meaningful relationships. All of this made me feel like crap, but I didn’t know why.
Luckily, I learned my lesson. Young men must recognize how these vices can hold us back and instead, focus their energy on making an impact in the real world. Stop being sedated.
4. It’s hard to notice progress in the short term
Real growth, whether physical, mental, emotional, or professional, happens gradually, often beneath the surface. It’s hard to notice this progress in the short term. If you’ve been putting in the work and want to see how far you’ve come, don’t compare yourself to yesterday, last week, or even last month. That perspective can be discouraging. Instead, look back at where you were last year or five years ago. If you’ve built solid habits and consistently put in the effort, I promise, you’ll see how far you’ve come.
So, how can we make sure we keep progressing? Kobe Bryant has the answer: think long term. He once said, “At the end of every day, you look yourself in the mirror and ask, ‘Did I get better today?’ Monday: get better. Tuesday: get better. Wednesday: get better. And you do that for five years, 10 years, 15 years—how much better are you gonna be? Are you getting better every single day? That’s the question. It’s about taking small steps. You don’t try to get the whole thing done in one day, one week, or one month. It’s the process of doing it every single day, for a period of years, that then creates the masterpiece.”
5. Be more polarizing
This one has challenged me the most out of all five lessons. Being polarizing means sharing your truth more openly and freely. It means being vulnerable, and that vulnerability creates a connection, because it’s real. When you’re authentic, people can feel it. And more often than not, they’ll open up in return. Even if someone disagrees with you, they’ll still respect you for being honest. Authenticity builds trust.
For most of my life, I was the classic “nice guy.” A people pleaser. I avoided disagreement because I didn’t want to upset anyone. But the thing is, being authentic might make some people dislike me, but it also makes others love me. That’s better than being someone who no one feels anything about.
When you're afraid to speak your truth, it comes off as needy, and people can sense that. So speak your damn mind more. Say what you think. It might just be the thing that connects you to the right people.
